this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
