I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
