i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
