last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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