Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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