You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
