we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize