Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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