Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
