my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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