god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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