I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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