wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize