Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
