wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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