I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
