i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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