walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
