She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
