look no pants
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
