I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
