In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I smell like Dick and happiness
soo... how was my night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
