"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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