Dual....:-)
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
