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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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