the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Randomize
