it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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