"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
