My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
