i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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