well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
