There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My liver just had a heart attack.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
