so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
