big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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