That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
