Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
