...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
