I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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