i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
