I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
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I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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