Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
