If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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