I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
