Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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