I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
