Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize