What a fucking waste of an outfit
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
