I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
