How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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