what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My ATM looks so different sober.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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