i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
