We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
