He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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