nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
