yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
