Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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