He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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