do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize