Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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