You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
