can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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